Struck by lightning

So I have been on an interesting path these last few months. I have been consistently searching for full time work or a guarantee of a certain amount of hours. Which has been kind of a challenge to find. I had two interviews this last month and both doors were shut in my face, when I believed I was well over qualified for the positions.

I said to my sister yesterday.

"I am going to get struck by lightning before I get a full time job." This is literally how I have been feeling as of late. I have not been feeling discouraged, well let's be honest that is a lie,, and sometimes a little hopeless. I sometimes think that when you constantly are getting doors shut in your face it is up to you to find that open window, and climb through and see where the universe may lead you.

I called my friend Jalissa yesterday, who is moving here in a month and a half. She says to me, "You don't sound as happy and inspired as you were after Lady Gaga. Dude you gotta be creative."

I said back to her, "maybe the universe is trying to push me in a direction that I am pushing against. I just need to no longer be fearful of failure and let go and see where this endeavor takes me."

She says back, "Duh. That is what I have been telling you."

The thing is that multiple people have been telling me that I need to create my own business. And people from all over the spectrum. Sometimes you gotta know that when all signs point to go, you gotta go for it and this is what I gotta do. It will be a means to an end of insanity and will make me feel a bit more fulfilled knowing that I am doing something that is 100% me.

On that note, I am going to spin in a different direction. Here are some things that I love, admire, want or are inspired by. My taste is so all over the place, I don't even know what you would really call it.

My sister is in the process of trying to sell her car, and with Jalissa's arrival soon here. I want to be able to save up some money to get a van. Not just any van one that I could paint murals on and be creative with. I don't like cookie cutter, have never really fit in a mold, and feel that if I own something I want it to have my mark on it, because that makes it more special.

This is an inspiration of the van, I want. I know I am totally becoming a hippie and if you would of asked me a year ago, I would of thought this was hideous. I just want to be able to find my van easily, if I am in a large parking lot and I know that will not be a problem, with something like this.

The next piece is something I want in my wardrobe. This is an amazing basic I found on etsy for an amazing price. $29.95. Something budget conscious and fashionable for men??? I am in heaven. Here is their etsy shop where you can find more fun stuff. Oh and Christmas is right around the corner...so a great gift idea! (I am a size L)

Talk about eclectic, I love the photo of this room below, and once I become a retiree, I think I shall have this in my home. The print is amazing. See I told you I was eclectic and a little unique with my taste. Maybe I am a refined bohemian artist?

This is basically just the most amazing, office chair I have ever seen and best part is that it was 100 percent refurbished. From trash to treasure. I think I need pillows like this for Jalissa's fort bedroom.

And last but not least Alice in Wonderland, you are amazing. I want a house built form the ground up inspired by your work one day. I found this on etsy also. I think it would be wonderful in a photo montage in a bathroom.
The whole point of this blog is that, I will be creating and it starts tomorrow. This weekend I will be selling some of my furniture. They will most likely go on craigslist. So it is time to create, to be free and see where my mind will take me. I believe it is time to quit fighting against the current and float through the river of creativity and see where it takes me.

Lady Gaga

For awhile now, well let's face it close to five months now, I have felt very stunted in growth with my creativity. I have honestly doubted my creative ability and if I truly was an artist worth pursuing a business of my own. I honestly have come to a lull in my creative potential, and that has been because me, myself and I. That is what it all boils down to.

Creativity is an ultimate expression of the internal. It to me is the most personal form of expression because it is something that only you have been able to judge its worth inside your mind. When it is created and shown amongst many, fear, excitement, nervousness all of these are encompassed inside your belly as if you were a balloon that could fly away at any moment if let go.

I then came across all these quotes that changed my mind a little bit about creativity:

"The imagination imitates. It is the critical spirit that creates." - Oscar Wilde

“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.” - George Bernard Shaw

This quote below explains where I am exactly.

“Sometimes you've got to let everything go - purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything . . . whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you'll find that when you're free, your true creativity, your true self comes out.” - Tina Turner

If I am unhappy with anything and purge certain things my true creativity can shine because it is not bogged down with piles of junk that just take up space. I guess it is time to learn and be whatever I am supposed to be and learn everyday to draw inspiration from life. This is the direction I am headed.

Sometimes I think that my interests are too broad, but doesn't that make you well rounded as an artist? I feel as an artist I never would be satisfied working 9 to 5 unless in design. I think I would always do more, learn more and seek more to do and knowledge to acquire. This could be my downfall or possibly my strength still seeking guidance on that one.

Long ago, (it sounds like I am beginning a story. Once upon a time..) I acquired tickets to Lady Gaga and thought that I had to make an outfit for her concert and show my creativity for 20,000 people to see. I had no idea how much it would actually be in all honesty.

I thought about the look for a very long time and finished the last seam just four hours before the concert. It seems sometimes the best things come out of times of pressure, at least for me. I am not the best planner and if you know me, or know how I work that is not my strength, but something that is definitely in the works.

I knew that I was going to create a jumpsuit, because let's face it for whatever reason I have an obsession with jumpsuits. I researched the makeup online and thought it would be absolutely fabulous.

Here is the video. I modified my look a little I used blue and white tones instead.

How to create a dramatic Lady Gaga look

This was my makeup which I did myself all of it from eyes, to false eyelashes and beyond.

I gained inspiration from multiple Lady Gaga looks and wanted to tie them all together.

Here are some looks that inspired me.

People will ask why dress up? Why do you like her? Well from the moment I heard her interview with Barbara Walters I knew I was a fan. She speaks of being a voice for those that felt like a freak and not normal. That spoke to me in a lot of ways and from that moment I knew that her music was relatable to me.

I wanted to the outfit I created for Lady Gaga, to first of all be editorial. I didn't want it to look cheesy or not well put together, and I knew I had more of a challenge being a male. I didn't want to showcase a blond wig and sunglasses. Though I love that look it just isn't me. I wanted to be inspired by her fashion, but still truly being myself at her concert.

The jumpsuit was created out of an old firemans jumpsuit I found at the goodwill outlets also known as the bins, where you can buy stuff you find by the pound. I deconstructed it, tore it apart and used it as a template. I was struggling with fabric choice just two days before the show, when I found an old fabulous, black and white tablecloth in our closet, that had no purpose before. Clearly it was there to be used for this occassion.

I had a pair of tuxedo shoes, that I originally spray painted silver but didn't like the look of them, so I decided I would decoupage the shoes. With what fabric was still to be determined.

The headpiece was created by melting old records in the oven and super gluing them together with industrial strength glue. Lets just say don't put it on your head while the glue is still wet it may get in your hair. The end result will quite probably be a shaved head. ;)

Did I mention that the records were found on the street next to a garbage can on Mississippi St here in Portland, yes no money was spent on this fabulous what would be headpiece.

The only thing I ended up purchasing for the whole outfit, was lace fabric which I used on the collar, a crow from the dollar tree and the makeup. All equaling out to just under $20. (Thank you coupons and Target)

The morning of the concert, I was sewing the jumpsuit together and it 10 minutes time, created and put on the lace collar.

I was done with my whole look an hour ahead of schedule, which meant needless amounts of pacing and nervousness at how people would respond. I thought people would think I was a freak, but in the end I got quite the opposite reaction.

I walked on the Max after going to happy hour, and people waved at me. Were shouting Lady Gaga out the windows of cars. I was starting to feel just great accomplishment in my creation and it was much the same if not more at the concert.

People were taking pictures with camera phones, asking to take pics, asking about my outfit. Were dazed when I told them I made it all! This was what I needed to feel recognized for my creative ability. This made me feel inspired, and ready to take on the world.

There was a line at the show of a photographer taking little monsters photographs. She had me on a chair originally but decided she wanted me to show off the shoes that were decoupaged so I did a yoga inspired pose.

All I can say is that the concert was amazing! And I am thankful that I had the opportunity to show off my creativity, and get a photo that expressed my perspective. I hope you like!